FREE

 

This feeling

Took a while to get here

To dig out from under the mental wreckage

Destruction caused by Fear, Anxiety and Depression

Trying to crush my mind and spirit

Surrounding me

Day of so much darkness

Days of doubt

Days of confusion

 

I remember that day

That day of utter blackness and evil

Spiritually, I lay there curled up as an infant

Afraid to move

Afraid of the pain

That was already too much

 

So many days that are just gone

No memory of those days

No memory of my actions

Just a blur of fear & pain

 

But that day

In the midst of the shadows that surrounded me

In the midst of the dark cloud that hung overhead

The feeling of severe cold

The cold of abandonment

The chasing thoughts and questions

Mind racing with doubts

That day

You helped me to stand and walk out

 

I walked out of that dark cave that day

You met me in the middle of my pain

You lifted me up with your strong right arm

You held me

You loved me

You restored my hope

You showed me the door

The door to my freedom

 

Trembling, I approached it

Still feeling the evil around me

Filling my mind with doubts

Trying to convince me that I couldn’t

That I was a failure

That I should be ashamed

 

But in the middle of the enemy’s shouting

I heard your whisper

A whisper that was unmistakable

Reminding me that I was surrounded

Not by the enemy

But I was surrounded by you

I was surrounded by your love

Surrounded by your truth

Truth that says, you will never abandon me

That you are greater than the fear

Greater than the anxiety

Even greater than the depression

Reminding me who my enemy really was

Reminding me that he is a liar

Reminding me that you cover me with songs of deliverance

 

After being bound up for so long

Unable to stand on my own

Unable to walk out on my own

I felt your hand holding me

With trembling knees, I stood

Feeling the fresh wind of your spirit

I could breathe again

I took a shaky step forward

Then I realize, that was all I needed to do

Just one step forward

 

You didn’t require me to run

Didn’t ask for a list of requirements

All you needed from me was just one step

One step out of the shadows

One step out of the lies

One step toward your truth

 

In that one step, something changed

The fear that had controlled my mind

The anxiety that overwhelmed me

The depression that was paralyzing

The shivering cold of evil

It was gone

Replaced with your peace

A peace that passes all understanding

 

It was in that moment

As I took that trembling step

Through a door that had been so far out of reach

I could no longer hear the lies and the taunting

Only one voice that I heard at that moment

 

I heard you whisper so lovingly

As only a father will do

MY DAUGHTER, YOU ARE FREE!

 

 

 

MY FATHERS HANDS

 

My Father’s Hands,

They have held me, every step of the way

As a child, they taught me

At times they disciplined me

But they’ve ALWAYS loved me

 

My Father’s Hands,

They have wiped away my tears

They have cradled me when my heart was broken

Hands that have showed me a better way

Hands that calmed my fears

 

My Father’s Hands,

There is a difference in these hands

So much stronger

More loving & caring

So much more than my earthly father

 

My Father’s Hands,

I feel them around me

I feel them holding me

Times when I am unsure

Times when life is so hard

 

My Father’s Hands,

You remind me that on the days when I can’t feel you with me

You have never left me or forsaken me

You have reminded me that no one can love me more

No one else has hands like yours

 

My Father’s Hands,

They held on to me when the darkness surrounded me

Never let go even through my screams

Never stopped loving me even when I doubted

Even when I questioned you

 

My Father’s Hands,

Now I can walk in hope & confidence

I can hold my head high

Regardless of the evil around me

Even in the midst of the lies from my enemy

Lies telling me that I will never be enough

Just like a child who can no longer hold in the secret, I giggle

A secret that I will shout for all to hear

By My Father’s Hands the enemy is defeated

By My Father’s Hands I am more than a conqueror