HANNAH'S HEART

 1 SAMUEL 2:1-2: My heart rejoices in the Lord; My horn is exalted in the Lord. I smile at my enemies, because I rejoice in your salvation. No one is holy like the Lord, for there is non besides You, nor is there any rock like our God.

    We find Hannah in the first chapter of 1 Samuel, in a season of lack. She was barren & her heart grieved. Lately, I find myself being able to relate to Hannah. Maybe, not exactly like Hannah. She couldn't have children, for me that ship has long sailed, but season of lack in another area. 

    So, this morning as I wake up to get ready for church, I found myself just heavy hearted. Only for it to get a lot worse as the day wore on. In service, I literally had myself a big ole fashioned cry. Yes, it helped but the heaviness was still there. After church, I had a few things to do, so off I go. Once I made it home, I knew exactly what I needed to do. I could not get groceries put up fast enough. I sat down in the recliner with my bible in hand. I knew I needed to get alone with Jesus. Opening my bible, I stumbled across this scripture. I actually had a different passage in mind but as soon as I saw this one the Holy Spirit spoke and said, pause here. Once I read it I knew this was exactly where I needed to stop and meditate. 

    In this passage, Hannah is praying. This prayer comes after she has followed through on her promise to God. She was barren, unable to have children. Her heart was broken. In chapter 1 we find her praying, promising that she would give the child back to God if He would only allow her to bare a child. God gave her her hearts desire. In chapter 2 she has just handed over her weened son to Eli the priest, just as she promised God she would. So, now she prays once more, but this time in rejoicing. 

    Verse 1 literally jumped off the page at me. In particular, "I smile at my enemies". God immediately reminded me that in times of difficulty when it seems that things are just way too heavy to bare. I need to realize that the enemy is on the prowl and has only one desire, that is to bring me down, fast and hard. We will all go through seasons of difficulty but we must remember that when the enemy is coming at you the hardest, we need to do one thing, SMILE. I don't look at this as a forced smile. You know, those kind that Grandma told you to smile for Aunt so and so because she thought you were so cute. NO, I look at this as a smile that says, if satan is attacking me this hard, that must mean that my God has one amazing blessing coming my way. A smile that with a wink attached to it. One that says, just wait satan, my God is gonna get you. 

    Reminds me of the verse in Psalms 30:5, ...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Also, when you see a rainbow after a hard rain or storm. 

    This season you are in may be difficult or just down right hard, but God will always provide that rainbow and the Joy you need. His promises are YES and AMEN. We have to remind ourselves to take time smack in the middle of the hard stuff to rejoice and thank Him for the promises He has given and the Joy that is ahead.

    DON'T GIVE UP my friends! God is still on the throne. Regardless of what may be going on around you, He is still on the throne. He has not given up on you, PLEASE do not give up on Him! He is definitely not finished with you yet. He has a blessing in store for you that will wipe that smirk right off the devil's face. 

 

YOU ARE...

 

You are…

The name above all names

The Great I Am

The King of Kings

The Lord of Lords

 

You are…

The one that upholds me with your righteous right hand

The one that never leaves me nor forgets me

The one that surrounds me

The one that hedges me in behind and before

The one that has laid your hand upon me

 

You are…

My shelter

My refuge

My rock

My firm foundation

 

You are…

The very breath within me

My strong tower

My hiding place

My peace speaker

You are…

The one that sings over me with SHOUTS of deliverance

The one that hears my cries

The one that orders my steps

The one that calls me the Righteousness of God in Christ

 

You are…

The one that supplies all of my needs

The one that calls me blessed and covered with favor

The one that wipes all of my tears

The one that calms all of my fears

 

You are…

The one that spoke life into existence

The one that filled the void

The one that told the sun and moon where to stand

The one that set a boundary for the sea

 

You are…

My creator

My father

My comforter

My shield

My strength

My calm in chaos

My stability in the midst of the crazy

 

You are…

The one who formed my inward parts

The one that breathed life into me

The one who knows my words before they are spoken

The one who knit me together in my mother’s womb

The one who knew me before I was formed

The one who looked on my unformed substance with love

 

You are…

The one who loves me with a pure love

The one who loves me with an unconditional love

The one who loves me in spite of myself

The one who loves EVERY SINGLE detail of me

 

You are…

The one whose name makes hell tremble

The one who took the keys of death, hell and the grave

The one who died but rose again on the third day, for me

The one who cannot be defeated

The one who nailed ALL my sins to the cross

The one who paid a debt that I could not pay

 

You are…

The one who knows all

The one who sees all

The one from whom nothing is hidden

The one with whom nothing is impossible

 

You are…

The one that pulled me from the miry clay

The one that picks me up and dusts me off

The one that sees my faults and loves me anyway

The one that says “through My Son, you are enough”

 

You are…

My joy in the middle of depression

My sunshine when there is nothing but clouds in my life

The rain to wash me clean

My peace in the middle of fear and anxiety

My smile in the midst of sadness

 

You are…

That provides me with my next breath

That gives me another day to live for you

That helps me take my next step

That tells my heart to beat one more time

 

You are…

A friend that sticks closer than a brother

The one that does not need me to exist but chose me

The one that is worthy of my praise

The one that never fails

The one that never sleeps nor slumbers

The one that says No weapon formed against me shall prosper

 

You are…

The Father, Son and Holy Spirit

The Lion of Judah

The Lamb of God

The Rose of Sharon

The Lily of the Valley

The Bright and Morning Star

 

You are…

A jealous God

A Righteous God

The wheel in the middle of the wheel

The Holy One

 

You are…

The one that calls me beautiful

The one that calls me a daughter of the King

The one that says I am worth it

The one that is just a breath away

The one who comes to my rescue, My Hero

 

You are…

That says I am an overcomer

That calls me more than a conqueror

My Healer

My deliverer

 

You are…

My God

My Everlasting Father

My Savior

My everything

My All in All

 

YES, YOU ARE!!!

THE ROSE

 

A rose in the middle of a desert

Where did she come from?

How did she get here?

What keeps her going?

People look & say “she is out of place”

Why is she here?

Others see one lonely rose

But You…

You see life in the middle of death

You see a candle in the dark

You see the rose you formed

You look on her with the utmost love

 

She asks you, “why did you place me here?”

I feel alone

There is nothing here

Struggling with who I am

I don’t understand

 

Then she hears His soft voice

As gently as dew touches the rose

He shows her a “different” view

Through the eyes of her maker

She sees herself

What He sees is LOVE

Love that was needed in this dead dry place

Kindness that only she could bring

Tender heart that only she possessed

She was created by Him for this place

A place where there was no life

He simply planted His LOVE

 

One single rose was enough

Others may think she is not

Even she struggles with the thought

But He knows

In Him, she is enough

 

His love within her

Strong

Able to grow

Even when death surrounds her

 

She understands a bit more now

Not completely, not yet

 

Her questions & confusion subsided

Her faith stronger

Peace in her heart

A smile

 

The world sees…

Small

Insignificance

Not important

Not that pretty

Will not last

 

That is just the first glance

But something catches their eye

 

She looks up at the sunrise

She greets her creator

He reaches down

Kisses her head with the dew of the morning

Causing her to beam

 

They see “her” now

The small insignificant thing before?

She is gone

Now they see a fully bloomed rose

Something of amazing beauty

 

The end of her story?

Not by a long shot

Just wait & see

There’s more, lots more!

REFLECTIONS

As we near the end of 2024, I look back and reflect.  

This year has been full of firsts, those things we thought we would never do and the inevitable "how in the world did I get here?" Of course, you also have the list of things that you planned to do but it never happened. The latter is probably the worst for me. As a woman, I have this list in my head of things I absolutely NEED to get done. Some how, I have come to the end of this year with several items on that list NOT done. That is definitely so frustrating to me. 

There are several things that I have gone to God and asked him to make a way or to provide me with the means to get this or that done. Nope, didn't happen! I have to be honest, there is a part of me that has mixed emotions, sad, disappointed & down right mad. 

ECCLESIASTES 3:1 AMP - To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven

God has reminded me several times lately that all things are in His time. Most definitely we can work it ourselves and force it to happen, but in those cases, it will not be successful. I must just keep praying & wait on Him. As disappointed as I am, His timing is perfect and the blessings will flow if we allow Him to take control. 

At the same time, I see others that are successful in the same area, which causes me to feel as if God has somehow overlooked me. Why can't that happen to me? The initial thought just racing through my brain. 

Somehow, things just don't ever work out like I planned. If I will pay close attention, what does all of the last few thoughts have in common? The words I and me. This causes me to look back at the times I have prayed for God's will to be done, then at the same time, I get impatient and frustrated when it does not happen. I mean really???

One day, maybe, I can get a better grasp on this. Learn to wait patiently on Him. As I am waiting, keep the promise in my heart that He sees me, He hears me and has not forgotten me. He will finish that which He has started in me. 

PHILIPPIANS 1:6 AMP - And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ (right up to the time of His return) and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. 

WAIT…

 

ISAIAH 40:31 AMP – But those who wait for the LORD (who expect, look for, and hope in Him) will gain new strength and renew their power; They will lift up their wings (and rise up close to God) like eagles (rising toward the sun); They will run and not become weary, They will walk and not grow tired.

So, what does it mean to “wait for the Lord?”

If you are anything like me, patience is NOT one of your strengths & most certainly at the top of the weaknesses list. It is something that I most certainly have to work on daily.

If you break this verse down & read it from the Amplified version, it gives a bit more clarity on what God means by “waiting on the Lord.” See the phrase in parentheses directly after the word Lord? The Amplified version breaks down words & phrases to give us a better understanding. Here the word WAIT mean to EXPECT, LOOK FOR AND HOPE IN. The question I have asked myself & I hope you will ask yourself is, “When I am waiting on the Lord, am I expecting His answer, am I looking for His answer and am I hoping in His answer?

HEBREWS 11:1 AMP – Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen (the conviction of their realty-faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses).

Now, here is a scripture that is a mouthful. What I want to point out here is the phrase HOPED FOR. Right next to the phrase, the Amplified gives you a better definition of this word. In our own minds on a daily basis we say things like, “well I hope so” OR “I really hope it gets better soon.” In this verse the word HOPE does not mean what we loosely speak every day. It means that whatever we are hoping for is DIVINELY GUARANTEED. That is more than just an “I hope so.” That is a “most certainly, positively, absolutely will!”

The issue is that we have the wrong mindset when it comes to waiting on God. We no longer need to have this wringing of the hands, pacing the floor, anxiety about waiting on God.

First of all, we need to get in His word and find out what it says about our situation. Find a scripture that applies to you & your situation. If you struggle to find the right one, ISAIAH 40:31 is perfect for any situation. Then we need to pray & quote that scripture out loud. The more we read the word out loud to ourselves, it gets down in our spirit & causes our faith to increase.

We must learn to have an EXPECTATION when it comes to waiting on God. Expecting Him to answer us, looking for His answer to come any minute now & knowing that there is a definite guarantee that God will come through. No questions, no doubt, no confusion, because those are from the enemy. Satan’s main desire is to distract you from God’s plan for your life. Part of God’s plan is for you to be strong in your faith in Him.

Yes, I realize this is easier said than done. Trust me, I know this all too well. There have been situations that I have gone through that were so difficult that I could barely breath much less pray. But somehow, I found the strength & prayed. The more that I prayed & read His word, the stronger I felt each time. This process can take time but if we don’t give up & keep going, we will come out on the other side much stronger than when we went in.

I challenge you today, to pray & ask God to change your mindset. Change your way of thinking, change your outlook on your situation. Ask Him to help you see your circumstances through His eyes. To the point that when you are in that “waiting on the Lord” time in your life, you will no longer wait in the midst of anxiety & fear but you will wait in EXPECTATION of that God is about to do in your life

Remember, God has NOT forgotten you or your difficult situation. He already has a plan & had that plan before the problem ever came about. I GUARANTEE you, He will provide the answer & you will be blessed in the process.

FREE

 

This feeling

Took a while to get here

To dig out from under the mental wreckage

Destruction caused by Fear, Anxiety and Depression

Trying to crush my mind and spirit

Surrounding me

Day of so much darkness

Days of doubt

Days of confusion

 

I remember that day

That day of utter blackness and evil

Spiritually, I lay there curled up as an infant

Afraid to move

Afraid of the pain

That was already too much

 

So many days that are just gone

No memory of those days

No memory of my actions

Just a blur of fear & pain

 

But that day

In the midst of the shadows that surrounded me

In the midst of the dark cloud that hung overhead

The feeling of severe cold

The cold of abandonment

The chasing thoughts and questions

Mind racing with doubts

That day

You helped me to stand and walk out

 

I walked out of that dark cave that day

You met me in the middle of my pain

You lifted me up with your strong right arm

You held me

You loved me

You restored my hope

You showed me the door

The door to my freedom

 

Trembling, I approached it

Still feeling the evil around me

Filling my mind with doubts

Trying to convince me that I couldn’t

That I was a failure

That I should be ashamed

 

But in the middle of the enemy’s shouting

I heard your whisper

A whisper that was unmistakable

Reminding me that I was surrounded

Not by the enemy

But I was surrounded by you

I was surrounded by your love

Surrounded by your truth

Truth that says, you will never abandon me

That you are greater than the fear

Greater than the anxiety

Even greater than the depression

Reminding me who my enemy really was

Reminding me that he is a liar

Reminding me that you cover me with songs of deliverance

 

After being bound up for so long

Unable to stand on my own

Unable to walk out on my own

I felt your hand holding me

With trembling knees, I stood

Feeling the fresh wind of your spirit

I could breathe again

I took a shaky step forward

Then I realize, that was all I needed to do

Just one step forward

 

You didn’t require me to run

Didn’t ask for a list of requirements

All you needed from me was just one step

One step out of the shadows

One step out of the lies

One step toward your truth

 

In that one step, something changed

The fear that had controlled my mind

The anxiety that overwhelmed me

The depression that was paralyzing

The shivering cold of evil

It was gone

Replaced with your peace

A peace that passes all understanding

 

It was in that moment

As I took that trembling step

Through a door that had been so far out of reach

I could no longer hear the lies and the taunting

Only one voice that I heard at that moment

 

I heard you whisper so lovingly

As only a father will do

MY DAUGHTER, YOU ARE FREE!

 

 

 

MY FATHERS HANDS

 

My Father’s Hands,

They have held me, every step of the way

As a child, they taught me

At times they disciplined me

But they’ve ALWAYS loved me

 

My Father’s Hands,

They have wiped away my tears

They have cradled me when my heart was broken

Hands that have showed me a better way

Hands that calmed my fears

 

My Father’s Hands,

There is a difference in these hands

So much stronger

More loving & caring

So much more than my earthly father

 

My Father’s Hands,

I feel them around me

I feel them holding me

Times when I am unsure

Times when life is so hard

 

My Father’s Hands,

You remind me that on the days when I can’t feel you with me

You have never left me or forsaken me

You have reminded me that no one can love me more

No one else has hands like yours

 

My Father’s Hands,

They held on to me when the darkness surrounded me

Never let go even through my screams

Never stopped loving me even when I doubted

Even when I questioned you

 

My Father’s Hands,

Now I can walk in hope & confidence

I can hold my head high

Regardless of the evil around me

Even in the midst of the lies from my enemy

Lies telling me that I will never be enough

Just like a child who can no longer hold in the secret, I giggle

A secret that I will shout for all to hear

By My Father’s Hands the enemy is defeated

By My Father’s Hands I am more than a conqueror